and we're patched....

if you have seen Rent, you understand the title of this blog. if not, go see it. you'll be happy you did.

so i'm not going to lie, i'm all about being honest right? i "borrow" my internet connection. someone around here has an open network, non-password protected, so i sponge. yes. i'm that girl. so if i am ever untimely in posting, i either have writers block or my neighbor is on vacation.

glad we have that squared away.

so to my thoughts for tonight. i have not slept for more than 4 hours in the last 3 days. and i am not exaggerating. i lay in bed and my mind begins to race. i have the most random crazy thoughts in my head that go everywhere from my relationship with God (if you can call it that at this point. thats a whole other blog) to what color my hair should be next to being annoyed with my loud neighbor. (but i do borrow his internet so i really shouldn't complain, should i??) either way i can't sleep and i'm over it. 

it makes me grumpy in the morning and it makes me hate work. my work is currently a "challenge" anyway, and i'm being nice by saying that, but being tired on top of that makes it that much worse. plus i'm sick and have been coughing so much a pulled a muscle in my side. it's like i am in this sleepy, grumpy fog that i can't get out of. it sucks. i have a new understanding and more compassion for people who fight depression on a daily basis. it's rough.

by the way i know my writing sucks tonight and i hope you can follow me, but i'm tired, so cut me some slack. :o)

anyways, i took an advil pm so it should kick in any minute i hope.

things in my life have been strange lately. there are a lot of things going on at once and lot of stuff coming up from God knows where that i am trying to deal with. i feel like an onion. so many layers and each one is being peeled back exposing new ones. not really sure what to do with the layers... cause onions stink. and they make you cry. thats kinda how i have been lately. my attitude stinks and i cry a lot. 

think it's time to go "talk to someone". give it a shot. why not. going to church on sunday too. and growing up he way i did, i know thats not just "giving it a shot". thats where i am expecting to see the biggest change. not at church. but with God.