Unplugged
On October 7th our church started a 21-day period of fasting and prayer. Rob and I had discussed for a few days what we would fast from as we were encouraged to give up one thing in our lives and focus more of our time on prayer and seeking God. My immediate thought was a fast from Facebook. It probably sounds totally lame that a fast from Facebook would be an incredible challenge for me and would require a lot of discipline, but I am on Facebook all the time. I have never calculated the hours per day that I spend connected to the site, partially because in all honesty, I don't really want to know. When I am on Facebook I share at least one, if not more, aspects from our day as a family. Facebook has been an incredible tool for networking, mommy support and keeping in touch with people, and I can completely see its importance and value. But having been off of the social network scene for a week now though, I have noticed some incredible changes in my actions and my attitude that I can't help but attribute to us having become "unplugged".
This is incredibly humbling and somewhat embarrassing to talk about, but I honestly think that there are far more people who can identify with this than would readily admit. The first two days that I was off of Facebook I almost went through a type of "withdraw". It was like a huge part of my day had been taken away from me. I don't want to paint the picture that I sit around on the couch all day eating Bon-Bons and surfing Facebook, but I was, in someway, always connected to it. I would have my computer open while making dinner or playing with the kids. I would take the ipad with me and browse the newsfeed while taking a bath. Since we don't have smartphones, I would take my ipod Touch outside to the swing set while I played with my kids. I would be online on my laptop while at school. Seriously, almost everything I did included being "connected" and if I wasn't, I was constantly wondering what I was missing or thinking about what I would share next.
After I got through the first two (very) grumpy days, I felt a sense of calm and peace that I had not felt in a long time. I sat on the floor and gave my children my undivided attention. I spent more time on housework. We went outside more, we took walks more. In general, things seemed to just slow down. I found myself so much less stressed and free of distraction. The enemy can use distraction as a very powerful tool. I also didn't realize until we went off of Facebook how much I compare myself to other people. I felt the need to be-it-all and do-it-all when I saw pictures and posts from other moms. I feel like there is a very unhealthy element that comes from the constant need to be "on display." In reality, thats what social media is all about; putting ourselves on display and advertising our lives. I did it. I still do it. This blog is a display of my life. I have noticed though that there is a huge difference in being online and plugged in every moment (which is where I was with my Facebook use) vs. choosing the special and meaningful moments to share when the occasion arrises (this blog).
I have also noticed a difference in my children since we have been off of Facebook. My toddler (although of course today would be a terrible example of what I am about it say) seems so much more calm. We have less tantrums and he is so much more pleasant to be around. Maybe it's because I am giving him my all and not being distracted. Maybe it's because Rob and I have been praying more for our children. Maybe he just senses the more relaxed attitude in me and he is responding to that. Either way I have seen a huge change in the quality of the time we spend together as a family.
Sadly though, I have noticed that the number of friends that I talk to on a regular basis has taken a drastic cut in the 9 days that we have been unplugged. My Facebook profile may say that I have 300-something "friends" but when you take away the figure on that screen, there are only a handful that I have been in communication with since our departure. I understand that it takes a great deal more effort to talk to people on the phone or in person, especially when you throw family, work and school time into the mix. It's very easy to fire off a Facebook message or post on someones wall, but to find time to call or visit in the midst of crying babies, dirty dishes and the hundreds of other daily tasks demanding our time and attention, I get it that it's much harder. I told my husband when we started this that, "Being off of Facebook will be like disconnecting ourselves from the world." And in some ways, it certainly has.
I'm still in the process of trying to figure out a balance and a "how-to" for when we do re-enter the social media world, but for right now in this moment, I am enjoying the freedom that comes from being unplugged. Of course I miss reaching out for some fellow mommy support on the days that feel like an endless cycle of crazy, but like I said, those days have become far less frequent. I've been using my prayer time and worship time to ask God what He is trying to show me and teach me through this time and I have certainly noticed a few things I need to work on in relation to my need to be "connected". Choosing to fast from Facebook was probably the best thing we could have done at this point in our lives. As hard as it is to admit my weaknesses, I have to thank God for the lessons I am learning and for the never ending grace that He extends to us.
This is incredibly humbling and somewhat embarrassing to talk about, but I honestly think that there are far more people who can identify with this than would readily admit. The first two days that I was off of Facebook I almost went through a type of "withdraw". It was like a huge part of my day had been taken away from me. I don't want to paint the picture that I sit around on the couch all day eating Bon-Bons and surfing Facebook, but I was, in someway, always connected to it. I would have my computer open while making dinner or playing with the kids. I would take the ipad with me and browse the newsfeed while taking a bath. Since we don't have smartphones, I would take my ipod Touch outside to the swing set while I played with my kids. I would be online on my laptop while at school. Seriously, almost everything I did included being "connected" and if I wasn't, I was constantly wondering what I was missing or thinking about what I would share next.
After I got through the first two (very) grumpy days, I felt a sense of calm and peace that I had not felt in a long time. I sat on the floor and gave my children my undivided attention. I spent more time on housework. We went outside more, we took walks more. In general, things seemed to just slow down. I found myself so much less stressed and free of distraction. The enemy can use distraction as a very powerful tool. I also didn't realize until we went off of Facebook how much I compare myself to other people. I felt the need to be-it-all and do-it-all when I saw pictures and posts from other moms. I feel like there is a very unhealthy element that comes from the constant need to be "on display." In reality, thats what social media is all about; putting ourselves on display and advertising our lives. I did it. I still do it. This blog is a display of my life. I have noticed though that there is a huge difference in being online and plugged in every moment (which is where I was with my Facebook use) vs. choosing the special and meaningful moments to share when the occasion arrises (this blog).
I have also noticed a difference in my children since we have been off of Facebook. My toddler (although of course today would be a terrible example of what I am about it say) seems so much more calm. We have less tantrums and he is so much more pleasant to be around. Maybe it's because I am giving him my all and not being distracted. Maybe it's because Rob and I have been praying more for our children. Maybe he just senses the more relaxed attitude in me and he is responding to that. Either way I have seen a huge change in the quality of the time we spend together as a family.
Sadly though, I have noticed that the number of friends that I talk to on a regular basis has taken a drastic cut in the 9 days that we have been unplugged. My Facebook profile may say that I have 300-something "friends" but when you take away the figure on that screen, there are only a handful that I have been in communication with since our departure. I understand that it takes a great deal more effort to talk to people on the phone or in person, especially when you throw family, work and school time into the mix. It's very easy to fire off a Facebook message or post on someones wall, but to find time to call or visit in the midst of crying babies, dirty dishes and the hundreds of other daily tasks demanding our time and attention, I get it that it's much harder. I told my husband when we started this that, "Being off of Facebook will be like disconnecting ourselves from the world." And in some ways, it certainly has.
I'm still in the process of trying to figure out a balance and a "how-to" for when we do re-enter the social media world, but for right now in this moment, I am enjoying the freedom that comes from being unplugged. Of course I miss reaching out for some fellow mommy support on the days that feel like an endless cycle of crazy, but like I said, those days have become far less frequent. I've been using my prayer time and worship time to ask God what He is trying to show me and teach me through this time and I have certainly noticed a few things I need to work on in relation to my need to be "connected". Choosing to fast from Facebook was probably the best thing we could have done at this point in our lives. As hard as it is to admit my weaknesses, I have to thank God for the lessons I am learning and for the never ending grace that He extends to us.
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