Is "checking-in" causing us to "check-out"?

Try to recall your last evening out. Have you noticed that smart phones seem to be just another piece of our table setting now? They go on the left side, just beside the dinner napkin.  Do we consciously think about how many times we check our Twitter account or update our Facebook status during the course of that 40 minute meal? Chances are we "check-in" to where we are and "tag" who we are with the second our backside slides across the booth. Five minutes later we likely take a picture of our frozen umbrella drink in just the right light, with just the right background to make our experience that much more impressive to our audience. We would of course be doing an injustice not to update our status and let everyone know how amazing the eggplant rotelli is, and what a trendy hair style the girl at the bar has. Fast forward to the end of our dinner and most likely that 4-inch piece of aluminum and glass  has been turned on more times than our waitress has been back to check on us.

Six months ago that was me. Everywhere I went and everything I did involved social media. Let me start off by saying that I am a self-proclaimed Facebook junkie. I love it. I love being able to interact with hundreds of people at any given moment. I love posting status updates of the exciting, and not-so-exciting adventures I encounter as a new parent. I like to see whats going on in other peoples lives. I like to post cute pictures of my kids. I like to share projects and ideas and plans and general life happenings. My phone, my portable plug to the social world, and I were inseparable. Heaven forbid anything happen to it, because all of our family photos, baby's firsts, addresses, phone numbers, emails , emergency contacts, allergies and scrapbook worthy moments were in that phone.

You can see why I thought my husband had fallen off of his rocker when he suggested we get rid of our smartphones and go back to the old talk and text phones. Are you kidding me, I thought? How would I make plans? How would I share my day? People wouldn't be able to see what I was doing exactly when I wanted them to see it. I thought, there's no way I am going to give up my instant connection the world's public diary. That is what social media is after all. A public display of our inner most thoughts and actions, at least the ones we want people to see. When I asked his reasoning behind this unheard of desire, my eyes were opened to what we have allowed social media to become. Getting rid of our smart phones, he said, would allow us to live in the moment, rather than trying to promote the moment. After several months of back and forth trying to persuade him to change his mind, I reluctantly agreed to give up our smartphones. We replaced them with I dubbed, "dumb phones". I hated the idea.

Since then I have become increasingly aware of what a hold social media has placed on our lives. Not having my phone meant having to wait to share special moments. It meant talking to each other in the car instead of Facebook surfing. It meant embracing every moment of an intimate dinner with my spouse instead of making sure the picture I took of that dinner was profile worthy. It meant letting go of the approval of "friends" who "liked" the things that were happening in my life.

I'd like to say that my compulsive action towards social media has slowed down since getting rid of my smartphone, but it has not. I often feel obligated to post, update, comment and like. I feel disconnected to friends and family when I don't have access to my social media accounts. Is this what Facebook was suppose to be? Was the plan for us to become so attached to our computers and phones that we become detached from real life and real events? Several studies have been released that show removing ourselves from social media has actually caused anxiety and panic. Really? What happened to "updating" someone over a cup of coffee or a setting aside time for a real phone call? I'll be the first to admit I need to work on this.

In addition to consuming our time and energy, social media has allowed us to see the portrayed perfection in others' lives, causing a dangerous self-criticizing attitude in our own lives. How many times have I been struggling through a rough mommy moment only to escape to Facebook or Pinterest and feel that much more inadequate because of what I see other moms doing? Has social media caused us to lose sight of being the best that we can be for our family and ourselves? Have we become obsessed with making sure that others see that we have it all together, all of the time? And who are we really even trying to convince, our "friends", or ourselves?

The other night my husband and I were having a conversation about what social media has become and how the use of it has effected our family. One of the things he said stopped me dead in my tracks. His comment was to the effect of, "We can be in the same room together watching a movie, but you are usually on the computer too and it's like you aren't really even there with me." Wow. How do you reply to that? I could not escape the conviction I felt inside. I knew he was right. Like any other addiction or compulsive behavior, it was time to set some boundaries and limits. And Im sure Im not alone in this.

In order for me to regain a healthy perspective and balance in my life, I have decided to take a break from Facebook. We took the first step six months ago in letting go of our phones, and although I hated the idea, I now see so much value and wisdom in that uncomfortable decision. As a family we have shared so much precious time that would have otherwise been wasted. I want to live moments. I want to take the time to write about the milestones my children are making or the ways we are growing as a family. I want to be in the room when my husband and I are spending time together. I want to update a friend over coffee or a shared meal.  I want to have a rough day and not compare myself to those who've had a "perfect" day. I want to be intentional about what I put my time and energy into. I want to be able to seek God through prayer and through His word and be void of the distractions that take me away from that. Am I setting a time limit on this break? No. Im simply going to listen to my heart and follow what I feel led to do. My family, my health and my real life "friends" are worth it.