Dear Autism,
It's funny to me that I've known you for so many years, and yet we were only formally introduced this past month. Although I'm frustrated that it took this long for you and I to be on a first name basis, I can honestly say that I've never been so happy to meet someone in all my life. All the tears, the yelling, the meltdowns, the screaming, the mood swings, the obsessions, the sensory issues, the need for absolutes, the unusual attachment...that was all you. The whole time.
You didn't show up to us like you do some of the others. I understand now why they call you the invisible disorder. Our son is sweet, affectionate, funny and incredibly intelligent. He bonded with us and we bonded with him. He makes eye contact and he hugs and he talks. The subtle clues you gave us disguised themselves well. Well enough for others to tell us that we had nothing to worry about. That we were over reacting. That we "obviously had never seen a child with Autism". I felt dumb for thinking you might be a part of our family. I pushed you out of my mind and continued to try to solve the mystery of what was going on with my child on my own.
But as time went on, you didn't go away like they told us you would. Your characteristics weren't something he grew out of. In fact, you became more prominent, more life altering. It was becoming obvious to those who spent quality time with our son that you might be lurking. And for us, as he parents, we had to find out. We had to understand and learn how to work out these issues that you'd been throwing at us for years. We needed to hear your name.
On a not-so-extraordinary day June, you were introduced to us. Autism. You're not an excuse for bad behavior. You're not a result of bad parenting. You're not a spoiled, bratty kid. And you're not a label. Though many refer to you as all of the above. You are a neurological disorder with challenging characteristics that directly affect the way my child senses and interacts in this world, but you do not define him.
I'm empowered now and equipped to learn everything I can about you. To help other parents who may be dealing with you. To help educate a public that doesn't understand you. I'm going to tell our story so that I can offer peace and hope and comfort to others. I'm going to use what I learn about you to help me be the best mom that I can be; so that I can help guide my son through the challenges he will face in this life with or without you. Because above anything else that you are, he is our son. He is fearfully and wonderfully made and is a precious gift that we've been given the honor of raising. A gift that I will be eternally grateful for. Autism and all.
But as time went on, you didn't go away like they told us you would. Your characteristics weren't something he grew out of. In fact, you became more prominent, more life altering. It was becoming obvious to those who spent quality time with our son that you might be lurking. And for us, as he parents, we had to find out. We had to understand and learn how to work out these issues that you'd been throwing at us for years. We needed to hear your name.
On a not-so-extraordinary day June, you were introduced to us. Autism. You're not an excuse for bad behavior. You're not a result of bad parenting. You're not a spoiled, bratty kid. And you're not a label. Though many refer to you as all of the above. You are a neurological disorder with challenging characteristics that directly affect the way my child senses and interacts in this world, but you do not define him.
I'm empowered now and equipped to learn everything I can about you. To help other parents who may be dealing with you. To help educate a public that doesn't understand you. I'm going to tell our story so that I can offer peace and hope and comfort to others. I'm going to use what I learn about you to help me be the best mom that I can be; so that I can help guide my son through the challenges he will face in this life with or without you. Because above anything else that you are, he is our son. He is fearfully and wonderfully made and is a precious gift that we've been given the honor of raising. A gift that I will be eternally grateful for. Autism and all.
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