Transitions

It been an interesting few weeks. Someone told me that when I went back to school I would begin to learn all kinds of new things about myself. I thought, eh, maybe. Maybe not. Turns out they were right. Now I know going back to school is not the only new thing in my life, significant life changes include becoming single again, in a very painful and ugly breakup, taking a HUGE step in my volunteer efforts with "imtooyoungforthis.org" and spending half of my week in Columbus and half down in Nelsonville at school. Those are a lot of changes to happen in the course of two months. So have I been learning a lot about myself? Yes. And I think it's just the beginning of what is to come.

One thing I have noticed is the state of confusion I seem to be in with my "status" in life. Am I where I thought I would be at 28 years old? Um, no. Not at all. There is a part of me that is SO excited about the adventure I am on and the freedom I have to determine my own path over the next few years, and the other part of me that misses what I could have at this point in my life. Mainly what Michael and I missed out on. I immensely  enjoy being in school. The challenge, discipline and reward of learning new things has awakened a new passion in me. It's exciting to know that I will work hard for the next three years or so, and to know that the outcome of that will be a new and exciting career that will take me wherever I want to go. The strange, awkward, "transition" part of that? Most people my age experienced what I am currently experiencing in their early twenties. Those are the friends that are currently in their career, have started their families and most are even adding to their family as well. Buying houses, having babies, ect. Is that strange to see? Yes. Does it sometimes make me jealous? Yes. There is a part of me that wants that and longs for that, but a peace and comfort of where I am in life now is seemingly overshadowing that desire.

Becoming single again was not something I expected from this past relationship. I thought it would last. I honestly did not think I would have to be in the "dating" world again and let me tell you this, I don't so much care for it. The dating world SUCKS ladies and gentlemen. There are a lot of creeps and strange people out there! Within a one month period I have been asked out by several "less than suitable" BOYS. Not men. Boys. My definition of a "real man" has dramatically changed over the past few years. Some of the things I have heard have been out of this world. I mean, really? Who raised these guys?? I know a real man now by his character and the way he lives his life, and THAT is what I will be looking for when I am ready.WHEN I am ready. But unfortunately, I have noticed, it seems real men are few and far between now. Don't get me wrong, I have a few VERY good men in my life, but the freaks out there seem to out-number them. So where does that leave me? Content. Content being single and waiting. And if that takes a long time?? I'm ok with that now. I'm tired of settling and compromising. I would rather invest my time and energy into developing meaningful friendships than compromise just to "be with someone". The people I have in my life now are so dear and important to me, they are what I will be investing my time and energy into.

Transitions in my life have never seemed so frequent. I feel like things are constantly changing and shifting and moving. Usually this would bring me EXTREME discontent and anxiety. Thats not the case now. I spend half of my week with my grandparents in Logan, Ohio while attending classes. This is about an hour drive and I leave on Monday night and return on Thursday. I sleep on an air mattress and live out of a suit case. I pack and unpack twice a week. A few years ago, there is NO WAY I could handle this kind of discontent. Transition? I'm fine with it now. It doesn't bother me at all and I actually look forward to my little "trips". Now, will this last? No. I know that at the beginning of summer I will more than likely move down there. In order for me to make the most of school and be as successful as I can be, I need to be down there. But for now.. I travel, and I am ok with it. 

There are so many things in life that I am learning are not in my timing. I may not be where I thought I would be in my life at this point, but I have learned to go with it. Frustrations will come and adjustments will need to be made, but thats what builds character, right? Thats the kind of thing that makes us grow as individuals and I would not trade that for anything. Life is exciting! Change is not always pleasant but no one can argue that it keeps life exciting. I have no idea what my future holds, but what I do know is I need to hold tight to the present and embrace it with all I have. Yes, there will be frustrations and road blocks along the way, but I am slowly learning to just roll with it...