Dear Michael
My dearest Michael,
I sit here tonight with my heart in pieces. I watch you sleep and you look so peaceful. My heart is breaking, but it gives me comfort to see you resting and your body not in pain. I want you to know that you are my life. You have been everything in this life that I have ever wanted and needeed. God brought us together and for some reason is taking us apart far too soon. You have forever changed my life for the better. You will never know the depth of my love for you.
The past few months I have been so angry. I was filled with hate. I was so angry at everyone and everything. I had no faith. No hope. You were in so much pain and I was angry at you. I was angy that you were sick, i was angry that you had pain, I was angry that we couldn't have a normal life. All i wnated to do was plan and live our life together. I wanted to buy our first house together, have children together, grow old together. I wanted to do everything with you. I sometimes felt like the world was spinning so fast around me and I was stading there in the middle of everything just getting dizzy.
After this past week at the hosptial, however, I feel like things are changing. My heart still breaks everyday. Everytime I see you in pain I ache inside. But I have also felt an overwhelming sence of comfort and peace. For the longest time I have searched and searched for peace. Who knew I would have found it amid such horrible circumstances. More and more everyday I feel the gentle touch from the only thing I can identify is the HOly Spirit. The only thing that makes sence to me is that God is holding me and carrying me through this. All I want is for you to be happy. I would give up any and everything to ease your suffering. And if that means I have to give you up, then I am at a place where I feel like I can do that. I will be ok.
To be continued....
I sit here tonight with my heart in pieces. I watch you sleep and you look so peaceful. My heart is breaking, but it gives me comfort to see you resting and your body not in pain. I want you to know that you are my life. You have been everything in this life that I have ever wanted and needeed. God brought us together and for some reason is taking us apart far too soon. You have forever changed my life for the better. You will never know the depth of my love for you.
The past few months I have been so angry. I was filled with hate. I was so angry at everyone and everything. I had no faith. No hope. You were in so much pain and I was angry at you. I was angy that you were sick, i was angry that you had pain, I was angry that we couldn't have a normal life. All i wnated to do was plan and live our life together. I wanted to buy our first house together, have children together, grow old together. I wanted to do everything with you. I sometimes felt like the world was spinning so fast around me and I was stading there in the middle of everything just getting dizzy.
After this past week at the hosptial, however, I feel like things are changing. My heart still breaks everyday. Everytime I see you in pain I ache inside. But I have also felt an overwhelming sence of comfort and peace. For the longest time I have searched and searched for peace. Who knew I would have found it amid such horrible circumstances. More and more everyday I feel the gentle touch from the only thing I can identify is the HOly Spirit. The only thing that makes sence to me is that God is holding me and carrying me through this. All I want is for you to be happy. I would give up any and everything to ease your suffering. And if that means I have to give you up, then I am at a place where I feel like I can do that. I will be ok.
To be continued....
Oh, sweet Anya...
ReplyDeleteDear Anya, You do not know me but I know you and YOU as one of God's beloved children, have been a blessing to my daughter, Andrea, in what you are dealing with. Know that God is near you, with you. Call on Him especially when He feels distant to you because of your stresses. We are asking many to pray for God's will in your lives and are putting you in our church's love and prayers.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you Anya and thank you for touching the lives of others. YOU are one of God's angels and messengers. We LOVE YOU. Marilyn