lonely
I'm lonely. Thats all there is to it. I miss my husband and he's not even gone. I miss walking with him and holding his hand. I miss going to the movies, or out to dinner. I miss standing in the kitchen kissing him. I miss waking up beside him. I miss him rubbing my shoulders and telling me he thinks I'm beautiful. I just miss him.
The emotions of going through something like this are crazy. I feel so up and down. Right now I'm sick, stupid head and chest cold....so when your sick, your emotions go kinda wacko anyways. But all the things that go along with this whole situation....sadness, fear, anger, lonliness....all of them are overwhelming. I have experienced more emotion in the last 6 months than I ever have before...and trust me, I have had my heart broken many times. Nothing like this. Through everything though, I wouldn't change the experience and time I have spent with Michael for the world. He has taught me so much and made me a better person. Taking care of him is at times exhausting, physically and emotionally, but it's worth it to me. To show this man how much I love him and how much he means to me.....it's all worth it. He has taught me the true meaning of commitment. Giving my life to someone....through good times and bad....in sickness and in health.....
Those vows mean more to me now than they ever have. But....I'm still lonely. Crazy, huh?
The emotions of going through something like this are crazy. I feel so up and down. Right now I'm sick, stupid head and chest cold....so when your sick, your emotions go kinda wacko anyways. But all the things that go along with this whole situation....sadness, fear, anger, lonliness....all of them are overwhelming. I have experienced more emotion in the last 6 months than I ever have before...and trust me, I have had my heart broken many times. Nothing like this. Through everything though, I wouldn't change the experience and time I have spent with Michael for the world. He has taught me so much and made me a better person. Taking care of him is at times exhausting, physically and emotionally, but it's worth it to me. To show this man how much I love him and how much he means to me.....it's all worth it. He has taught me the true meaning of commitment. Giving my life to someone....through good times and bad....in sickness and in health.....
Those vows mean more to me now than they ever have. But....I'm still lonely. Crazy, huh?
I love you
ReplyDeleteMom
Dearest Anya,
ReplyDeleteNothing crazy here, just the beautiful thoughts and words of a lovely woman in pain. I ache for your loneliness and pain and I feel gratitude for your love for Michael. I believe with all my heart that even though you do not receive much in return for all you do in your love for him, it is making a difference, a huge difference in his life and in God's Kingdom. I continue to pray much for you.
With love, Jeanne