In a rut
So, as you all can see, I have not blogged in a while. I have had a severe case of writers block. To be completely honest, I feel like I'm in a bit of a rut. I feel disconnected, displaced and un-motivated. Now before you go thinking, "good grief woman, quit complaining!"...just hear me out on this one.
Moving to Phoenix was one of the most independent things I have ever done. I was forced to survive on my own. I had to get a job that paid well. I had to buy all new furniture for my new apartment. I had to make new friends, learn a new city and start my life completely over in unfamiliar territory. I relied on no one but me.
Now returning to Columbus has been COMPLETELY different. I moved in with my grandma because I chose a career that does not guarantee me a steady income. Literally. If I am at work for 8 hours, and I have no clients, I make no money. Now, with that being said, my career has been taking OFF and I have been super busy! This is all fine and great, and I'm very happy about my job, I love it actually. However, busy today does not mean busy tomorrow. It's not steady. There is no "set" income. So, I went from having a $800+ rent in Phoenix and being totally comfortable with that, to looking for an apartment in Columbus that's around $450-$550 and being NERVOUS about that. And let me tell you, there is something to be said about being in your late twenties and not living on your own. It sucks.
That, I feel, is where my little "rut" stems from. Home, and all of the comforts that "home" brings, is way underestimated. I love feeling comfortable and set in a home. I like to have my stuff, in my place, with my routine. I like to have things in my home that make it warm and inviting. Things that remind me of where I have been, and things that motivate me to get where I am going. Home is comfort, and if I don't feel at home where I am living, my comfort level is thrown completely off. Therefore, my motivation, my energy level, my overall personality are altered.
Am I just bitching or do I have a point? I have a point. I know we are challenged to make the best of our current situations. We are expected to adapt to the things in our life that we cannot control, however, there comes a point in life when maybe what you cannot control is the one thing you realize is most important to you. At that point you start to take things into your own hands and actively seek out a solution for them. While I know that I probably can not afford an apartment RIGHT this minute, I can actively take steps to get myself to that goal as soon as possible. This is one of those times of mental discipline, where I have to step back and force myself to adapt. I have to try, with every ounce of energy in my body, to make the best of my current situation, and strive to create my ideal situation.
Moving to Phoenix was one of the most independent things I have ever done. I was forced to survive on my own. I had to get a job that paid well. I had to buy all new furniture for my new apartment. I had to make new friends, learn a new city and start my life completely over in unfamiliar territory. I relied on no one but me.
Now returning to Columbus has been COMPLETELY different. I moved in with my grandma because I chose a career that does not guarantee me a steady income. Literally. If I am at work for 8 hours, and I have no clients, I make no money. Now, with that being said, my career has been taking OFF and I have been super busy! This is all fine and great, and I'm very happy about my job, I love it actually. However, busy today does not mean busy tomorrow. It's not steady. There is no "set" income. So, I went from having a $800+ rent in Phoenix and being totally comfortable with that, to looking for an apartment in Columbus that's around $450-$550 and being NERVOUS about that. And let me tell you, there is something to be said about being in your late twenties and not living on your own. It sucks.
That, I feel, is where my little "rut" stems from. Home, and all of the comforts that "home" brings, is way underestimated. I love feeling comfortable and set in a home. I like to have my stuff, in my place, with my routine. I like to have things in my home that make it warm and inviting. Things that remind me of where I have been, and things that motivate me to get where I am going. Home is comfort, and if I don't feel at home where I am living, my comfort level is thrown completely off. Therefore, my motivation, my energy level, my overall personality are altered.
Am I just bitching or do I have a point? I have a point. I know we are challenged to make the best of our current situations. We are expected to adapt to the things in our life that we cannot control, however, there comes a point in life when maybe what you cannot control is the one thing you realize is most important to you. At that point you start to take things into your own hands and actively seek out a solution for them. While I know that I probably can not afford an apartment RIGHT this minute, I can actively take steps to get myself to that goal as soon as possible. This is one of those times of mental discipline, where I have to step back and force myself to adapt. I have to try, with every ounce of energy in my body, to make the best of my current situation, and strive to create my ideal situation.
Comments
Post a Comment